


all i really need to understand is when you talk dirty to me

by chxshire



Series: shit i owe kristin lmao [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Cavemen, Crack, Dirty Talk, Kinda, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, at the end, bc i promised, the fact that that's a tag makes me feel a tiny bit better, this is the weirdest thing i've ever written lmao, this was literally based on a text i sent kristin bye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 17:53:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6161630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chxshire/pseuds/chxshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Louis froze and Harry looked at him with such intensity, it sent shivers down his back. He growled and threw him on the bed, slowly and sensually climbing up his body. When he reached his face, Louis could see his pupils were fully blown, not a trace of green. Louis was fucked.</em><br/> </p><p>or harry and louis are cavemen that, when not discovering fire for the first time or carving tools out of stone, fuck</p>
            </blockquote>





	all i really need to understand is when you talk dirty to me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [woozis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/woozis/gifts).



> i blame my #1 problematic hoe kristin for this (even if she is a narrie.. ,.) this has also been in my drafts for a while and i just forgot to write the smut lmao so im sorry for not sucking up the bottom!louis and writing it so i could post this earlier. love u
> 
> if you read this because you think it's going to make sense, im very sorry in advance. you should also probably know the extent of my studying on the knowledge of cavemen and their whereabouts included relying on prior knowledge of 11 years of various american world history classes and having watched the croods 12 times. read at your own risk.
> 
> title from talk dirty by jason derulo bc like. why the hell not

Louis likes to think that his life was fairly easy. Besides having to chase large, tusked animals away from his home every now and then and making sure to forage enough to survive the winter, life was the epitome of simplicity. He and his boyfriend, Harry, had lived together in their cave for almost 5 winters now and while Harry went out every day to scout for food and possible oncoming dangers, Louis stayed in and around the cave, planting various fruits and vegetables. Their cave was located inside a mountain so his garden was a little ways outside of the entrance of the cave. Being near a mountain, of course came with its own perils such as falling rocks and much larger animals attempting to claim their home but it'd become routine after a while and comforted him. This is why when Harry came home looking particularly troubled one day, Louis worried almost immediately, rushing to him as he entered through the door.  
  
"Gsbisbik sfiubgsub?" Louis asked, worried.  
  
Harry just shook his head and walked fully into the cave, placing the meat he'd gotten on the floor in the middle of the cave. "Jbsbiuer. Iyfbyerb sufb ur bywuebgwi."

Louis frowned. That wasn’t normal. Usually there were a lot more of the smaller animals that Harry could hunt easily. The larger ones (that more often than not, had a liking for the smaller animals – which unfortunately, included them) were more difficult to track down and required a larger amount of skill and effort for their capture. They’d tended to stick mainly to the smaller ones, being that their apprehension required less planning.

Harry not being able to find very many of either was not a positive sign. The only possible reasons for this that Louis could think of would be either winter or the crops, which the smaller ones eat, lessening in supply. Harry, following the same thought process as Louis, walked back outside of the cave, Louis following closely behind him. As Louis glanced around, he quickly ruled the cold, dry season out. The frigid temperatures had dropped many moons ago and the colorful florals on top of the trees only further proved his point.

Harry turned to Louis and motioned toward the garden growing out front. “Aniswbf eusbiseg uwenoe busbs?”

Louis nodded. Of course he had. Taking care of the crops was his pride and glory. Day in and day out he would make sure they were watered and growing healthily and he was damn proud of the job he did, thank you very much.

Harry looked between the garden and the trees and frowned, brow creasing more than it already had, his eyes beginning to darken. “Sissjegse sjg enga,” he grumbled, turning and looking at Louis with his darkened eyes, before stalking back out of the cave.

Louis swallowed and quickly walked back inside. Harry was pissed. If he thought he was upset before, it was nothing compared to this. Louis prayed that Harry would find an antelope or something to quell his hunger before his poor asshole paid the price.

…

Louis paced around the cave, straightening things up and kicking rocks back and forth. Harry had basically demanded he stayed inside before he left so all Louis could do was pray that he'd find something. He doesn't think anything happened to the garden. He was just out there just yesterday. And it was only a couple days ago that there had been a rainstorm to water them so he really didn't know what- Louis froze. Fuck.

Louis ran outside, dismissing Harry’s warning. The moon was almost up in the sky which meant Harry would be back soon so he had to hurry. Looking at his garden he gasped as his suspicion was correct. Louis walked closer, cradling the squished leaves of his plants. Yesterday, during the storm, he'd heard a loud noise coming from the mountain, but being used to it, he ignored it. Now he realizes what it was as he searched for any salvaged greens from where the rock had collapsed on his garden.

Hearing a noise behind him, he jumped up into the air, preparing the best way back to his cave. When he saw it was just Harry, he clutched his beating heart, though the look in his eyes was doing nothing to calm him.

“Whebow rheskso palsvs?” he asked, darkly.

Louis swallowed. “Veh whsjs sibsdb re ysi neissb.”

Despite the growing darkness outside, Louis could see Harry’s pupils enlarge.

“Gsis ceis usbs wvs sgevs sosgsbk.”

“Gebs gsy-“

“Twis.”

Louis’s pulse quickened as he made his way back to the cave. He was in deep shit. This was the second time today he hadn't followed Harry’s instructions. No sooner had Louis walked into the room where he and Harry sleep, had Harry pushed him so his back was against the wall. Before Louis could even think about moving away, Harry pushed closer and put his arms up, blocking any path of travel.

“Sinssbh gsisn gaisn heosne wosn usups,” Harry muttered into Louis’s ear. _You've been such a bad boy._

Louis groaned and threw his head back, allowing Harry to suck bruises into his neck. When Harry bit down, Louis let out an especially needy whimper. Louis froze and Harry looked at him with such intensity, it sent shivers down his back. He growled and threw him on their ‘bed’, slowly and sensually climbing up his body. When he reached his face, Louis could see his pupils were fully blown, not a trace of green. Louis was definitely fucked.

Without breaking eye contact, Harry reached down and ripped Louis’s thin, printed pants off. After tossing them on the floor, he quickly discarded his own. When Louis glanced down Harry’s body, his eyes widened. Louis always knew Harry was big but when he got particularly excited, his cock would get even bigger and stick up straight. The more excited he got, the bigger it’d get, and, well. Louis was in for a long night.

Harry attached his mouth to Louis’s neck and pushed Louis’s thighs apart with the hand that wasn’t palming Louis. Using his free hand, he pressed a dry finger against Louis’s hole and slowly pushed it in. Louis groaned out loud and Harry pressed kisses up to his neck, mumbling, “Bubuwf iubfw kbif webfiw whqow edfian.” _And bad boys don’t get any prep._

Harry wiggled his finger around for a bit before pulling it out completely and lining himself up. Louis inhaled sharply and let it out as a deep, guttural moan, arching his back with it. Harry groans and buries his head in Louis’s shoulder as he pushes the first 3 inches of his cock inside him. Louis screams in pleasure, and the pleasure only gets worse when he pulls out and slams back in twice as deep. Tears are streaming down Louis's face as Harry pulls back again and slams into him, finally reaching his hilt.

Louis feels his eyes roll in the back of his head as Harry holds his shoulders down and starts pounding into him, bits and pieces of words coming out of his mouth. Harry shifted positions and a rush of pleasure washed over him, momentarily forgetting the pain his ass was in as his toes curled again the rock floor.

“Sueeb ongr guihgen rug whgw,” Louis moans out, his body being pushed up the cave floor with every thrust.

“Jbudb bfib wubf,” Harry muttered, slamming into him even harder. _Come for me._

With those words and a particularly hard thrust to that spot inside him, Louis arched his back up and off the ground, coming hard and shooting white stripes up his chest.

Louis's hole tightened around Harry's cock and Harry let out a loud groan before following and coming inside him. 

Harry collapsed his head onto Louis’s chest and pulled out slowly. As Louis felt himself fall asleep, he felt Harry nibbling on his ear.

“Nrgset einvg ioswn osfvnc,” Harry mumbled, before slipping out the room. _Maybe next time you’ll follow my instructions._

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry


End file.
